Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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