the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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