I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
