I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
