nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
