you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's never too late to be topless.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
