somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
