When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
