This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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