i may or may not be watching the land before time
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
