guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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