We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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