adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
