Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
