Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
