Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i now understand why vodka
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