to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm just crazy horny about you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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