I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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