wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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