Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I need water and some morals
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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