I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
whose parrot is this?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
