why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
