HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
