That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
