TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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