ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
