Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
two words: eviction party
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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