I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
