The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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