Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
