Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
