Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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