Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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