I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
