I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
