I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
