Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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