one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
