i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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