She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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