Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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