Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
