If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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