like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
