i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
