I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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