At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
