Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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