its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
