well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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