It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
