Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
