May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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