He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
