don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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