he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
