dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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