I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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