well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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