It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
