If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize