you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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