I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
