All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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