College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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